How have I not known you, Suffering?
I am sorry.
I am ashamed to have lived a life so full of comfort and luxury—so ignorantly.
My lips have been parted by the most excellent cuisine. My tongue, liberated by the strongest drink. My eyes, satiated by the hidden wonders. My skin, enveloped by the most beautiful women. My ears, filled with the sweetest whispers. My mind, accompanied by the greatest wisdom. My loneliness, met with endless companionship. My boredom, never left to fester. My uncertainty, made certain by wealth. My insecurity, made secure by family. My Self, acknowledged by the highest praise—regarded by many as humble, honorable, and successful.
I have filled this body with all it has asked for.
Until now, I have never known you, Suffering.
Now, my body begs all day and all night.
To silence the whimpering, I grant his every wish. Though grateful, his gratitude is only temporary. Not much time passes before the silence is broken by the return of his whimpers.
I, myself, now beg—for anything in return. My giving has been met with nothing but request. I stand empty handed. On weak legs I carry myself on the quest for more, which he demands of me. I’ve exhausted all of my energy in this unwavering pursuit—I am at the mercy of my master, and he is at the mercy of his own desire.
I am helpless to believe that I am responsible for this suffering. It is me who has made my body a beast, with spoils of comfort and luxury. His appetite has become insurmountable—his satiation requires eternal servitude. To keep him happy, I offer myself as his slave.
What was once the gifting of pleasantries has mutated into hedonistic necessity.
I now find myself at Your feet, begging for Your guidance.
Your guidance comes to me as a whisper—Take it all away.
In my obedience to You, I turn away my ear from my master to You. As the one who gave him power, I take it away. I ignore his every demand. I created this beast, and now with You, I destroy it. Only this time, I will not give it freedom because you have given true Freedom to me.
You will be my power, and I will remain the master—and he will be my slave.
When he is good—fearful and obedient—I will gift him the pleasure he once begged for, out of love. Hereafter, he will not beg—he will be grateful—like the slave who has been starving for a year.
Thank you, Suffering. You have saved me.